Soul SiStories
Soul SiStories was born out of a mutual desire to bring forward hope and healing through sharing our lived experiences. Hope is embracing life despite adversity. Hope is our reason.
Soul SiStories
Reconnecting with Hope: A Journey of Creativity, Grief, and Community
This episode reveals the deep bond between sisters Dona and Diana, as they share their journeys of love, loss, and hope. Through storytelling, they inspire listeners to connect and heal, highlighting the importance of community and the transformative power of shared experiences.
• Reflection on childhood creativity and sisterly bond
• Discussion of personal stories of loss and grief
• Emphasis on the power of storytelling for healing
• The role of community in navigating grief
• Intentionality in creating hope through action
• Invitation to listeners to share their own stories
• Future plans for featuring guests' experiences
• Call for community and connection in the healing process
Thanks for listening to Soul SiStories. We hope you follow us on your favorite podcast platform. Five-star ratings and reviews always help to spread our message of hope.
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Welcome to Soul Sisteries.
Speaker 2:Welcome to Soul Sisteries. We are Donna and Diana sitting here together just really hanging out today, wanting to chat about what got us here and why we started this podcast in the first place.
Speaker 1:I know so cool to have this opportunity to talk with you here and to share that out. And, of course, we've got our pal Kirk here with us too, who's maybe with us a little bit. Yeah, and help us. Yeah, because as we're talking we're like, well, we know each other's stories and we have to make sure that we're not just sitting here under assumptions that the whole world knows our stories.
Speaker 3:They soon will. They soon will.
Speaker 1:You're awesome, You're awesome. So yay, here we are Doing the thing. Can you believe it, sis?
Speaker 2:We are doing the thing, but from opposite coasts, which is an interesting thing, because we, I think, started talking about this so long ago when we were only 20 minutes from each other, not 3,000 miles apart. So it's a little different thing, but certainly, soul sisters are forever, right, soul sisters are forever.
Speaker 1:I mean, apart from a couple little journeys where we lived at some distance for a short amount of time, we've always been like either sharing the same room for many years or like 20 minutes from each other. So we've been way in each other's lives forever, and it's so weird to be on opposite coasts now.
Speaker 3:Yeah, but I think it's great that it gives you guys the opportunity knowing you know. Obviously, dawn, I've known you a lot longer than I've known Diana, but you have an adventurous spirit and heart and you love traveling and I think it is kind of great. I've noticed that in my life I travel a lot for work but I have friends that have moved away and I actually spend more time with them when they live on an opposite coast or whatever, because it's more purposeful if that makes sense, Like it's amazing the number of friends that live 20 minutes from you, but unless there's like a special event or something, you don't necessarily spend that time. So I think it's good for you guys at this point, especially being a part of this journey, to have those different perspectives but to also give you that purposeful reason to go and visit each other.
Speaker 1:Well, that's true, and then when we do, I go and I stay in her house, so we're together all the time. It's not just let's grab some lunch. So here we are with the culmination. Not a culmination, it's a. It's a next chapter in this very long journey that started way back in the day in Anaheim, california, where two little girls were born into a family with a bunch of other siblings and a big world that we always just kind of found our way to each other with a really great friendship among all these other siblings as well. I mean, you were always very special in my heart. My baby sister and I kind of like pulled you in as my own.
Speaker 2:But I'm thinking you mentioned Anaheim, california, and I'm picturing. You know we were always entertaining each other in one way or another, right From our Miss America pageants in the living room to our gymnastics routines in the backyard, our crocodile rock dance recital.
Speaker 3:I hope we can find some of that on video or audio, because producer Kirk here might want to insert a little of that into a special bonus episode. I would love to see the Miss America pageant for sure.
Speaker 1:Oh my gosh. Well, this is the thing about our childhoods. So we are a very creative family across the board and we were super imaginative in our play and there were a great many of us and our elder sisters one in particular was well, actually both were really good at pulling together these projects, these things that we would do collectively, that we would do collectively and we'd have, you know, neighbor kids come and watch or participate. So we put on many a show where we created the scenes out of. There was an appliance store around the corner from us and we would go and get the big refrigerator boxes out back and we'd drag them home and then we'd cut them open and we'd color on them and make our sets. And then our eldest sister, she would write the script.
Speaker 1:And I can remember us doing shows where we were multiple characters in the exact same scene. You just switch who you were in that exact same scene. Or we did the Miss Universe pageants and we would get our international costume on, or we would play store and clothing store where one sister would make these clothes displays pinned to the walls of a bedroom and we would go shopping at the store. So our world, that's what we grew up in and with Always. You know, you have an idea, you make it happen. And here we are, let's do a podcast.
Speaker 2:We'll make it happen idea, you make it happen. And here we are, let's do a podcast, make it happen. And I've tried to think of how long ago we started. I mean, maybe when we first started hearing of podcasts many years ago, like, oh, what would we do if we had a podcast, right? And so I think it was something that was always in our minds, you know, kind of like, oh, let's have our own Oprah Winfrey show. You know, we could be up there and have our own guests and host our own show. I think that was years ago. But then, you know, in more recent years, with life progression, life happening, I think, you know, kind of got us filtered down to the idea that we really wanted to move forward, Right to the idea that we really wanted to move forward.
Speaker 1:Right, it became very clear that this is where we're being directed and one thing just fell into the other. It just was so easy. In fact, I think we're kind of blown away by how easy and how quick ultimately it was. So we felt really directed to do this. Yeah, we've always had things to say. We knew we had things to talk about. Yeah, we've always had things to say. We knew we had things to talk about and perspectives. But what that passion is that we were really drawn to. Yeah, life took care of that one huh.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So maybe, sis, maybe this is when we kind of share why this, why are we doing Soul Sisteries and what is the idea behind this hope through that we really wanted to talk about? So I'm going to go to you first, because you're my older sister, I'll let you share. Baby, what would you like to share with everybody about, kind of what got you to this point, about?
Speaker 1:kind of what got you to this point. Yeah, it's so interesting because I do feel like the work that I'm doing today is a culmination. It just everything has come together and led me to that point and where I have always in my life had a lot of fears about, oh, am I good enough, can I, should I? You know, this just is a feeling of oh yeah, that's right, I know this and this is what I do. I hope that makes sense. But yeah, so this journey, soul Sisteries, there's a spiritual basis here, right?
Speaker 1:So we were both raised in a lot of religion and neither one of us is deep in religion anymore, but that spiritual journey has always been really strong for me, and a piece of that is because always in my life, as long as I can remember, I've sort of seen things and known things that were outside of the physical realm and I was really, really scared. As a kid I was really terrified of what that was. There was a lot of stuff in the world and a lot of stuff in our particular religion that suggested there was some darkness around that, and as I got older, I learned some things about not dark at all. There is intuition and there is our spiritual selves and there are different kinds of connections, and all this is long and deep and I don't need to get into the weeds of all of that. But I then started doing some more studying and some more learning about what that was and expanding and of course, there were things along the way, things along my journey, that opened all of that up and things that I could look at now if I look back and go. Okay, well, those were traumas along the way and they were. They were, but there was something else that was made of them and there was an expansion that I had in a different place that I went. So I've talked very openly and freely.
Speaker 1:When I was very young, I was sexually abused and that created a dynamic within me where I learned to go beyond my body, beyond myself, and reach outward and build some extraordinary skills that actually then served me as I went on and, trust me, I've done massive healing around those wounds and I mean that hardcore and was a long journey and that work has been done and there's stuff, of course, that's ongoing. And then, as I got older and then you know my story had the. You know I was married young and I had infertility issues and that was a thing. But then as soon as our baby was born, that hubby took off within weeks of that, of our, of our child's birth, and just a big flip and switch and it was a massive loss for me, obviously, but it was a huge grief. But that grief also escalated and expanded my journey and my awareness, my depth of compassion, my understanding, my releasing of fear, my stepping in more deeply into who I am. And then, following that journey with my baby right as a single mom, and then moving back home where you and your wonderful future husband were, with our mama and my son becoming he was so close to you and to your fella and, like he became David, became my Kenny's number one guy, right. And so then we fast forward again and I'm remarried and I've got another baby through adoption, which that is a whole glorious journey and I'd love someday for us to talk about that journey of adoption and the soul connections around all of that.
Speaker 1:And then, you know, five and a half years ago, as you well know, my beautiful Kenny suddenly gone in an auto accident and that, oh, man, man, yeah. So much to say there. But then followed eight months later by the loss of your beautiful husband and the two of them now in spirit and with whom we are so strongly connected. But, wow, what a journey. And all of that then finally tipped me over the edge of not only am I aware and I can see things and feel things and understand things, but I need to do something intentional around that. I need to be intentional in that work and I need to do that in support of others and helping others in their grief journey.
Speaker 1:This is a whole lot of talking I'm doing and I need to wrap it up, but it's a lot of story. But I want to say, out of all of this, these massive traumas and these are some major and significant traumas there has been an incredible expansion that I have felt within me, a different kind of awareness and a compulsion to be fully present and of service to others in their grief journeys in particular, and their awareness that we are so much more than what we see at the surface. That's my experience and that's what I like to share, and also that grief is a thing to talk about because it is so common, so much a part of our human journey. And enough with this silence and this awkwardness and this weirdness that we have around this very real, very common, very profound experience. So yeah, that's it in a really large nutshell.
Speaker 2:So that's a big nut, sis.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm a big nut.
Speaker 2:So you know, it's interesting right being raised in the same family, of course, one of five kids, later one of 12 kids, so that our experiences could be very different.
Speaker 2:I mean, there's clearly overlap, but our worlds are very different, even just being, you know, a few years apart, and I think my world was probably a little bit more sheltered because I was the baby in the family you know, for so many years, and I had, you, for sure, you know, right by my side and and and my mom and you know people looking out for me in a different world. I guess then maybe some people get looked out out, for I, for some reason, have just always been the one that wanted to volunteer and help, whether it was the kid who fell down on the playground, the dog who was running around wild in the street, you know I was going to rescue all the kids and all the animals and all the elderly people. I was volunteering at, you know, senior centers. I was walking around the corner to the old retired couple to have, you know, tea with them in the afternoon. I was walking the mailman's route so he didn't have to walk alone to do the route.
Speaker 1:You know I was yeah, well, we're all out searching. Where is Diana. Shouldn't she be home by now? Oh, she's walking home with the mailman.
Speaker 2:So that is really kind of my world right, volunteering through high school at senior centers. By the time I was in college I was volunteering at Child Help USA, working with you know, trauma victims. I was volunteering with you know all sorts of organizations just over the years and naturally fell into doing counseling and social work as my career and I was, you know, I worked for years with sexual abuse victims and their families. I worked for a long time with grief and loss. I worked, you know, in the school settings with you know kids who were, you know, bullied and all sorts of things Just really kind of pulled to helping in any way I could, just being of service and pretty much happy in my life. Things were going well. I had a partner who I adored, children who were teenagers at the time that I couldn't get enough of.
Speaker 2:You brought up Kenny who, as his aunt and godmom I don't know if anybody could be closer to a kid who's not their own child, but he was everything like a child to me and David Absolutely. And I had certainly had losses losing grandparents. I've lost friends, you know. Just five or six months before Kenny passed we lost our stepfather, and, you know, after a long illness, but it was, I think the loss of Kenny in 2019 that really kind of, I guess, opened me up to a different life. You know, you talked about seeing things and knowing things and you know, kind of with that connection across the veil and that was not something I had and I very much thought that was something for special people. You had to be the selected one. Of course, our religion had taught us that growing up, but I didn't know that all of us can connect with loved ones who had passed over. And I remember my partner and I at the time both struggling a lot with the loss of your Kenny, our Kenny, and really wanting to have that connection too and like, well, if Donna can do it, how come we can't do it? There's got to be a way for us to do it right and both of us kind of starting on that journey to figure out this other piece of life, the life that goes on after death, I guess. You know, the life that goes on after death, I guess.
Speaker 2:And it was shocking enough when we lost Kenny and then, just a few months later, to lose David also, both suddenly so many plans I had, you know, to continue raising our children to leave California, to do things differently, to have our retirement, just all of those things that were supposed to happen, right. And I remember the first night losing him and how traumatic that was and how scary that was and thinking, how the heck do you go on for that through this, right, yeah, and then I guess I'm more analytical than I think I am, because then I went to that thing of, okay, well, statistically I know women survive loss. Statistically, I know women repartners. Statistically, I know I'm going to be able to support myself. I knew all these things statistically.
Speaker 2:And it was probably within two or three days of my loss that I just said I can't be the person who, 10 years from now, is wondering where my life went, or you know. And I think, because I always have believed in the human capacity to change and to grow, even if somebody tells me it's not worth helping this person, that there's still a chance that they can change, and so I'm going to do it. And so I think in that moment I just, I guess, made that decision that I was going to be hopeful for myself and hopeful for anybody else. And within you know, a couple of weeks, I had started an online group because, of course, it was the pandemic and COVID and things were shut down. So I started an online group for women who had lost their partners.
Speaker 2:It's four and a half years later and we're still going of mediumship and death studies and what goes on. You know astrophysics and just everything else that encompasses really to me hope, and so you and I talking about hope and holding out hope for ourselves always. I think this podcast, for me, more than anything, is for us to get to hear stories of hope yes, for us. And then the byproduct of that is that anybody else who wants to listen also gets to hear the stories.
Speaker 1:So you were talking, sis, about how, when David passed, how you claimed, really, that you were going to be on that hope journey and that you were going to stay present. And I want to share something about that also Two different times One first, when my first husband left and I was a suddenly new single mom with a six-week-old baby and just like, wow, what do I do now and how do I do this? And I knew I wanted to be here for him. But I made a decision that I was going to be present because I didn't want five years to pass, 10 years to pass, and I had no memory of and no real lived experience of that time with him. That I had to stay present for him and I did. I forced myself into it, stay present for him, and I did. I forced myself into it Massive grief. I'm not saying this was all easy, but it was a choice. It was a choice to live presently and, of course, you and David were enormously helpful to me through all of that time. When you talk about it takes a village boy did. I have a village of love who came in and supported, and the same was true when Kenny died.
Speaker 1:I turned to a lot of child loss groups and so many of those groups I kept hearing the story of. You know, it's been five years and it feels the same. It's been so and it feels the same. Nothing changes. I thought that can't be my life, that can't be my story. With my son, people have been grieving since the beginning of the time. That can't be the fallout here.
Speaker 1:So what's the difference there? And the difference? The hook became this choice that I am going to live and keep moving and grieving and that this duality does exist. Both of these things are true and there are days and moments and times when I still feel it in my gut, when I still am dropped to my knees. I miss him like crazy in the physical, but also this profound relationship I have with him now and how I just so fully know my kid is living his best life. Now he really is and we are connected and that that's true for everyone.
Speaker 1:It's not just I'm not special, I'm not different. I've just done some work around this. I had a particular. I always say it's like singing. Everybody can sing. Some people are born with a more exceptional talent for it, but everybody can do the work to build the capacity and so that it's similar to this. I was born with a particular inclination, but you, my sister and I say this all the time we're born with profound intuition and you followed paths to work with that and expand, and that's still very true.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:I'm going to interrupt real quick and I won't get through this statement, because everybody already knows that I'm an emotional person, but you both are so special oh and I know it's hard to accept that.
Speaker 3:I know it's easy to deflect at first, obviously, because it's sometimes it's overwhelming. But I wouldn't be here if if it wasn't for you, donna right, if your son hadn't wanted to learn more about audio, we never would have started our podcast together, which, in turn, gave me the experience and gave me the desire and like the wherewithal to know what a great platform to get this out. And then, when you approach me, it was like, yeah, let's go, let's do this right now because of I know you. I know how special you are, not just to me, my whole family and our whole community. Like, sorry, of course, I'm the one that's been talking less, but I'm crying the most right now, and you guys are talking about these things that people can't get through, and you're talking and you're sharing with our listeners how you got through it, and that's the reason why I'm here. So when you brought that up, I was. However, I can help, but I just will end with say you're both special.
Speaker 1:Thank you.
Speaker 3:To me, my family and many, many, many others in our community and around, and I know that from watching the interaction, seeing the interaction, hearing the interaction and then listening to this podcast that we put together right. I get to edit it and I've said it in conversations before I love it because it's therapy for me, it is my opportunity to let my heaviness go and be there and be present, because I've had those moments with my family that I wasn't present and I've learned from life and from being around people like you and many of the other people that are in this community that you know have that love and empathy. So I just want to make sure you guys know you're so special.
Speaker 1:Thank you, that's very, very sweet and thank you involved there. And yes, I know there are mental illnesses and there's abuses and all of these things exist. There's a whole lot of choice about how we are in this world.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah. And so then that leads me to a question, sis, that we often ask our guests right is kind of that hope through, where do you find hope through? And I think I have my where I find hope, but I'm curious how you answer that Hope through.
Speaker 1:So I think I had a different answer previously, but right now I'm thinking, no, mine is hope through stories, shared stories, the shared human experience. I've always been drawn to that Like how many times have I made Christmas presents of like, conversation, questions, or I'm the one at the table who, like, let's ask the question and go around, which our one sister in particular can't stand? No, no, and it's not for everybody, but that's always been my thing. I want to hear people's stories and I want to connect to their humanity, to their truth selves. I want to hear people's stories and I want to connect to their humanity, to their true selves, and I want to share that.
Speaker 1:One of the reasons I'm drawn to theater, one of the reasons I'm a writer and one of the reasons I do this kind of work, is that you know hope through the shared stories and hence we've got the soul sisteries because it's about that. And, as you can hear, I love to talk, but I love to listen too, and learning from other people's stories is just like it's such a wow to me. How about you, sis?
Speaker 2:It's the funny thing because I hear you talking about stories and I definitely that's one way that I find hope and I have to laugh because that's my dissertation is all about autobiographical memories, which is, the stories right, the stories we tell. So I think that's very important.
Speaker 1:Can we jump in right here and say that Kenny read your dissertation like he wanted to, as a little baby, not a baby as?
Speaker 2:a little boy as a kid Boy he was like eight, nine years old reading my dissertation and he didn't finish the whole thing because it's very long, but he got through at least the first chapter and asked some great questions. So it was very cool to have him read it. But I think I have two words, I think, and I don't know, that I could choose one, so I'm going to have to say both. But I think it's hope through action and hope through connection, and for me those go together because it's the connecting through action, I guess, is really it, and that is always in life. I do something, I don't just think about it, and I might not do it the best, I might not be the best at it, but if I get an idea I'm going to do it, put it on paper and do it, whether it's ice skating lessons, guitar lessons, piano lessons, hiking, running a marathon, whatever it is. Just throw it at me. I'm like, yeah, that sounds fun, let's try it at least once. So it's definitely action, but it's connecting through action, because, even as I say that I did a marathon once I don't know I'll ever do it again but I did it with team and training for the Leukemia Society. So I did it to raise money and connect with others and it was this group thing that we did. It's hope through. You know my grief.
Speaker 2:And I started a widow's group. Like I said, we're still running, four and a half years later. Kind of same thing. I. I saw women on a page, on a Facebook page for widows, and it was the first night and I remember seeing somebody's comment that their partner had died 17 years ago and it still feels as though it was yesterday, had died 17 years ago and it still feels as though it was yesterday. And I thought, oh, that can't be me, I can't go into old age feeling how this feels tonight. And so it was that conscious decision to act connect with women really all around the world. When we started we had people in Australia, but today it's all around the country, a group of us coming together for hope in action. And it's through our connection. It's that soul connection really.
Speaker 1:And what you're talking about here too is choice. You'd make a decision and you move forward. Okay, so this has always been your thing. I can say as your older sister and one who's watched you all along yeah, you've always been amazing at. I think I want to learn whatever, and you just do it. You take the class and you do it. It's always so amazing and you seem to naturally have a certain kind of confidence. But I think it's I don't even know that it's confidence just a willingness to try and fail. That was my hang up.
Speaker 1:I had and I've learned as an educator because I've lived many years as a teacher as well I've learned as an educator there's a certain mindset and like what we call the gifted kid or whatever, whatever label you put on there where I'm only going to do the thing that I can immediately be fabulous at and I'm not going to try the thing that I'm not so sure about. And that was definitely my MO. And so I stayed small and quiet about a lot of things because I wasn't instantly stellar at them. And Pat, the little girl I once was on the back right now and say there's a lot of things that she really kicked ass at Kick butt. Maybe I should say things differently. I don't know Editing Kirk editing, so there's of things that she really kicked ass at Kick butt. Maybe I should say things differently. I don't know Editing Kirk editing. So there's some things that she really was great at and did beautifully, but there's so much I didn't try.
Speaker 1:So part of what my story, my journey, has led me to, is a place where I had to put it all down and I had to stop caring about what somebody else thinks and am I good enough and can I do, or whatever, because it really none of that really mattered anymore. And so I stepped into a space where I could choose confidence. And I've discovered that that's so for me. I choose confidence and I do it. So the first time when I started doing readings for people and it was very scary and who am I? Who am I to think I can do this and what and how and all of that stuff, and how dare I All of that? But I have gotten affirmed and validated again and again and again that this is helpful and supportive to others and it is making a difference. And then, of course, my natural confidence has built over time through that journey and it feels very different now. I hope I'm making sense here. I'm so long-winded.
Speaker 2:I think you're telling your story, though. I think that's interesting though, because I was not the best. I think of us young kids and I think of you as somebody who always won everything you did, and it's interesting to hear you say that, because you did the things that you were good at, and so I didn't do sports because I wasn't the top.
Speaker 1:So I did a little bit of sports, but you know, not really.
Speaker 2:I didn't grow up seeing you do things that you weren't going to be good at, because you didn't do those things where I was not really the best at anything. But I was going to have fun at whatever I was going to do. And that's not to say I had the confidence, because I certainly didn't have all the confidence when I was little, but as I got older it was one of those things. Like you know, life is short, especially the last five years. I know life is short. Do whatever the heck you want, whether you fall on your face or not, because you know what you're going to get up and that embarrassment's going to pass, but at least you're going to have tried it right. And instead of saying 10 years from now, gosh, I wish I tried playing the guitar or gosh, I wish I went on that hike across whatever trail you know, at least to be able to say I did it.
Speaker 2:And I will say, along with this story of hope, it absolutely sucks losing Kenny and David. There's not a day that goes by that I wouldn't change at all and bring them back. I mean, I would love to have them right here, but even with them where they are now, that gives me so much hope and I always just imagine myself like, oh, I'm going to go jump off a cliff. How crazy are you? Oh well, you know what? David and Kenny are here. They're gonna make sure I'm okay and I don't mean literally jumping off a cliff, because I'm not a daredevil, but whatever I wanna do, I just feel like somebody's got my back and that's just so hopeful.
Speaker 1:I guess, yeah, it absolutely is, it absolutely is. I guess, yeah, it absolutely is, it absolutely is. I love everything you're saying, sis, and I want to say one thing also along the lines of what you just said. You talked about how you would change it in a second and I've thought about that a lot. There came a certain point because I get that I mean I'm with you in, like oh my God, would I give anything to be able to just big old hug and like to smell him. You know what I mean. Like each of your children has a particular scent, right, you can pick that out anywhere. And just to smell him and to hear his laugh, to hear his keys in the door, like these are things like, oh God, I would just give anything for that. And yet I'm also aware that if I was really given the choice and if I was asked, you know that if I was really given the choice and if I was asked, you know, would I bring him back if I could and you know I had I could do that. I know, down to my toes, I know and oof, I feel this through my body as I say it.
Speaker 1:I know my answer would be no, because I know he is, as I said, living his best life now. He is whole, perfect and complete, he is happy. He is happy and as his mom, that's all I want for him. Right, that's what I want for him. So that first, and I promise anyone listening, yes, it still kills, and there are things that I think about and like that his brother doesn't have him here. Oh, I still kills, and there are things that I think about and like that his brother doesn't have him here. Oh, I hate that. All of the cousins who've lost him, his friends who you know, all of that stuff does hurt. It's not just like, oh, everything's fine, my kid died and I'm great, but I am good and I have joy and I have a full and rich life. That is what's real. And also, my son died and that sucked and still sucks and is also beautiful. And I know, no, sis, I know you know.
Speaker 2:It's a crazy thing and I don't know. I think I kind of feel the same, losing a partner. More than anything, I don't like our kids to not have their dad. That is the worst, you know. It was, yeah, losing what we call the brother-cousin right, they were more than cousins, it was the brother-cousin and then losing their dad also, yeah, and life goes on and you can have a beautiful full life. Which then leads me to the next I'm asking. The question, sis, is you know, do you find hope, do you create hope? Does it just show up at your doorstep? And I think that we both kind of shared that we create it, we make it. It's not like, oh, I see a four-leaf clover and I'm like, okay, here's hope. We actively, actively create the hope for ourselves and for others, I think.
Speaker 1:I agree, and we're really intentional about that and that's how we landed on our hope through tagline also. Because it's hope through what there's some action, there's some perspective. Because it's hope through what there's some action, there's some perspective, there's some something that then generates the hope. It doesn't just happen. The same way I talked about confidence. It's like oh, I'm so hopeful, I just am filled with hope. No, there's work to be done here, there's choice around it, and there are times when I definitely can't find it and I turn to you and I turn to others who helped me with my perspective and I think same. I mean, we for sure both go through our times of well, this all sucks and I don't want any part of this. We go through that.
Speaker 2:For sure. Pity parties are fun. You need to have that, so right. So I mean, I do throw myself a pity party and that it's like, okay, time's up. I got to get back to the way I want to live my life, you know, and I don't want to live my life in grief and knowing that both of those guys are doing whatever the heck they want to do and seeing the world. And you know, yay that they get to live their best lives. And while I'm here, I'm going to live my best life. So, you know, I don't always know what that's going to look like from day to day, but I am going to try to live that.
Speaker 3:So but I think you guys had both said you're going to try and you do it with purpose and so many people out there don't. And I mean, I'm not trying to trivialize anything, but people lose their minds when their sports team doesn't win or you know, just something trivial happens, right. I was one of those guys that would be like, oh my gosh, this team didn't win and it's all over, and it's frigging sports, it's a you know, or it's my bad band didn't play that song I wanted to hear, or I got a flat tire or just all these things that we get faced with every single day. Yeah, and had your education and had your support group to be purposeful in that decision and and to do not only the things that you do in your professional lives and your personal lives. But now here you are, out there, you're telling the world your story and you don't have to do that, and that's not an easy thing to do at all. To put yourself out there. I mean, every day, before we walk out the door, what we're looking, look okay. Is this? Does this outfit look okay? Am I presenting myself Well? Is my hair done? You know, you, you, you, you concern yourself sometimes about that presentation out there.
Speaker 3:But I, I feel, and I and I've gone through some trend you know transformations in my older days as well in that in you go through loss and you go through things that were important to you, and the purposefulness to me is the hope through for both of you. You said, you said it Diane, the, the, the action, and. And then you told the story in the beginning about pulling cardboard boxes from from the store and and making sets, and it sounds like you've always been doing and that the doing is that purpose and what gives you and thank goodness and thank any and all the powers and religions and deities and whatever that are out there that you have been focused enough to be able to say, yep, it sucks. And I'm moving on and and I I can say just from my small purview, I know many, many, many, many people personally and I think, many people through this, you know this platform, that are gaining from that perspective and that example and, um, I'm just thankful to be a part of it and I'm thankful that you guys, um, find that purpose every day.
Speaker 3:But you also, you also understand the grief and you embrace it in the sense that you know it's real and uh, you're not trying to deny it because so many people do, and I think that's why they hold on for 17 years is because they can't accept the reality of of what happens. But every day we go through some type of some type of transition that could change everything right. The flat tire you missed a phone call, you, you, you know, check didn't come through. Whatever it is, and the purposefulness, I think, is an amazing message that you're sharing with the world, an amazing message.
Speaker 1:Thank you, I hope so, that's, I mean, that is our intention. That is our intention and we both feel, I know, very compelled and pushed forward to just keep talking, keep sharing, keep bringing people together, keep speaking on these things that we find there's just so much commonality and so much. I thought of myself in the past as being a sensitive and compassionate person, but I discovered in time that there was just a whole lot that I didn't know until I knew, and I didn't know these things.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know, sis, that's exactly it. You know, I always feel like I've been compassionate in my life, that I showed up for people in my life. I became a therapist, I did social work, I volunteered. I go where people need me, when they call me, and then I experienced these losses, one right after the other, and I think I got it. I got it so much more than I ever thought I got it before. And I remember thinking, oh my gosh, I have to call every single client, every single friend, that maybe I didn't do enough for that, maybe I didn't quite get it. But you know, I did what I knew to do until I knew better right, and now I think I show up in a different way now.
Speaker 1:Yeah, totally, you know. Sometimes with other parents who have lost kids we talk about you know. I hope other people don't ever know. I know you feel the same.
Speaker 1:I hope people don't know this reality, but there's stuff you'd like it. I just said, you can't know until you know, and once you're open to that, it's it's just this whole world. And then you realize also that there's so many people who do know and who do sit in this same space. And, god, I wish we all talked about it more with each other. It's such a normal and fundamental part of what it is to be human, to be alive, to have these kinds of losses. When you love, you also have loss.
Speaker 2:And I think that's it's so often I remember, I mean for weeks after losing my partner, but then also years after, where people don't want to talk about something and they'll actually say well, I don't want to make you cry, or I have my good days and my bad days, so you sharing something does not make me feel any worse. In fact, it's even better, because to hear Kenny and David and you know even dad and papa and to hear those names continually being said, that people remember and that's how we live on, right, that's how we live on people remember and that's how we live on, right, that's how we live on.
Speaker 1:That is one of the most profound gifts I think that you can give someone who has lost someone is to speak their name, to mention them, to mention a memory that you have, just a simple little thing. It goes so far and so long. That's one of the pains people have, right, as time goes on and they feel that everybody's forgotten their loved one because they're not speaking their names in the same way To keep them part of the conversation. It doesn't have to be huge, just a small mention. Oh my gosh, that is powerful, oh my gosh, that is powerful.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and if, if they don't know the loved one to say, well, tell me about so and so, or what's your favorite memory about so and so? Or you know, we're coming in filming this around the holidays, you know, and it's like what is their favorite holiday cookie? What was their favorite you know gift that they ever received? I don't know anything.
Speaker 1:Or the favorite gift that you ever got from them. You're exactly right, sis. That is just such good stuff and a reminder to me right at the second that I need to do more of that and be really conscious. That's really, when all is said and done. It's this, these messages of love and hope and sharing that with one another. Really that is all that matters in this crazy life.
Speaker 2:Sure, and, and I will say now just kind of looking at how long we've been talking, we've been talking for a little while and I know we haven't asked the questions we normally ask of guests that come onto the show. We haven't kind of gone through our little rapid fire questioning, but I think maybe we've shared enough just to kind of give the listeners kind of some, I guess, some background on us, have a little bit of information on us, and we can certainly share more of our stories and more of what we're doing and what got us here later. But I think maybe we wrap up now. What do you think?
Speaker 1:I think absolutely. We do wrap up. This is enough, and thank you to anyone who is still listening and sharing our stories with us.
Speaker 2:That's our children. I may make them listen at some point with us. It's our children, I you know may make them listen at some point.
Speaker 1:For sure. Well, thank you everyone, and, uh boy, our hearts are with you wherever you are in your journeys and, um, you know, we hope that all of this helps to support your, your hope in your world as well, and we want to share in that with you. So, thank you, thank you, thank you so much.
Speaker 2:Yeah, thanks everybody. Thanks for being here again today. Thanks for joining us today on Soul Sisteries.
Speaker 1:And thanks for sharing stories with us. We'd love to hear your stories as well and keep the conversation going, absolutely keeping the hope going. So we're really hopeful that you'll connect with our guests as well, who have great stories to share. Go ahead and follow them in various social media platforms or live venues, wherever it is that they're performing and sharing what they do.
Speaker 2:We would love to have you follow us on all of our social media platforms, subscribe and rate, as that will help us get our message of hope out to others. Thanks for listening to Soul.
Speaker 1:Sisteries.
